darren milligan

studio work //

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what returns
this love is not for cowards
twenty seven hands for leaving



What returns documents a practice of making and wearing temporary leaf masks during three autumn days of solitary hiking in the woods of Virginia in October 2025. I collected fallen leaves (sycamore, tulip poplar) and held them against my face for self-portraits before returning them to the forest floor. The masks evolved across three stages: first, complete concealment behind whole leaves that blocked all sight; second, partial revelation through leaves torn open or found with natural decay; third, reconstruction, smaller leaves attached to larger ones with saliva to create new eyes. In wearing them, I became something else: a self between selves. The work explores cycles of transformation and the practice of learning to see. For a long time, I have been unable to perceive the world abundant, closed by loss. But the capacity to notice, to be struck by what surrounds us, returns whether we feel ready or not. The leaves fall, decay, and nourish the soil each season. Wonder follows its own cycles of loss and return.

Person's arm extended from top right holding large bright chartreuse tulip poplar leaf by its stem in front of their face against blue sky, wearing black baseball cap and gray jacket, autumn forest with bare trees and brown leaf-covered ground in background Close-up selfie looking up at large bright yellow tulip poplar leaf with visible water droplets held overhead by both hands against overcast sky, bare tree branches visible in background, person wearing gray jacket visible at bottom edge Selfie of person holding large orange-brown dried sycamore leaf completely covering their face, both hands gripping the leaf stem from above, wearing black cap and gray jacket, bright blue sky and bare forest trees in background Person holding large yellow-green tulip poplar leaf with natural holes and decay spots covering face from below, hand visible at top holding leaf by stem, wearing gray jacket, autumn forest setting with bare trees in soft focus background
Close-up selfie of person holding large green tulip poplar leaf with multiple natural holes and decay spots against face, eyes and parts of face visible through the holes, wearing black cap and gray jacket, autumn forest with soft out-of-focus trees in background Person wearing black baseball cap holding large dried brown sycamore leaf with torn and decayed edges in front of face, one eye clearly visible peering through large hole in leaf, wearing dark jacket with visible zipper pull and eyeglasses hanging from collar, autumn forest background Selfie of person wearing black cap holding yellow-orange dried tulip poplar leaf with multiple torn holes and gaps against face, both eyes and nose visible through openings, wearing dark jacket with gray liner visible, autumn woods in soft focus behind Person wearing black baseball cap holding large mostly green tulip poplar leaf with brown decay patches and several irregular holes against face, eyes, nose and mouth visible through openings, both hands gripping leaf, wearing dark jacket with gray collar, forest background
Selfie of person wearing black cap holding large dried tulip poplar leaf in shades of yellow-green to brown with two small bright red maple leaves attached in center creating eye shapes, both hands holding the composite mask, wearing navy jacket with gray liner visible, autumn forest with sunlit trees in background Person wearing black cap holding large yellow tulip poplar leaf with two smaller bright red-orange leaves attached in center creating eye-like forms, both hands gripping the leaf stem, wearing dark jacket, bright sunlit forest with thin tree trunks visible in background, park bench partially visible left side Close-up selfie of person wearing black baseball cap holding large bright yellow tulip poplar leaf with two deep red oval-shaped leaves positioned as eyes, right hand holding leaf stem, wearing navy jacket with gray liner, silver wedding ring visible on hand, sunlit autumn forest in background Selfie of person wearing black cap and navy jacket holding large green tulip poplar leaf with two bright orange leaves positioned in center creating eye shapes, right hand gripping leaf stem showing silver ring, bright backlit autumn trees with orange and yellow foliage in background
Overhead view of discarded leaf mask arrangement on forest floor with two bright yellow small leaves positioned as eyes on larger yellow and orange tulip poplar and sycamore leaves, surrounded by mixed autumn leaves including burgundy red, brown decayed, gray-white leaves, and patches of dark wet soil and twigs Leaf mask arrangement returned to forest floor with yellow leaves forming eye shapes among dense layer of decomposing leaves including large tan sycamore leaves on left, bright yellow tulip poplar leaves in center, green-yellow transitioning leaves on right, burgundy and orange leaves scattered throughout, piece of weathered wood visible in upper left corner Leaf mask made from single large green tulip poplar leaf with two small orange leaves positioned in center creating eyes, lying flat on forest floor surrounded by brown and tan fallen leaves, bright sunlight illuminating the green mask, dark shadows from trees visible, rocks partially visible in background